Day 4 of Five Days of R&R&WTF (Sunday)
Nov. 25th, 2013 01:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thedisappearingcat Today can be summed up in one sentence: "Well, that isn't what I meant to do..."
I was nettled by Innoq nagging me a bit about the dishes and other aspects of housekeeping I'd been neglecting during my rest period. He could have damn well done them! But I felt guilty too, because I know he's not well either and is adjusting to a new dose of medications. So I alternated watching Yu-gi-oh and cleaning. I put away my clean clothes, tidied, and did as many of the dishes as I could. (Still not all of them, but a vast improvement.)
Then I ate too much. Again. I'd really blown it, intake wise, for a couple days in a row. I didn't make a big deal of it, but decided to get back on track today. Well, today Innoq made Belgian waffles. I was starving (because I didn't eat anything but a handful of grapes for breakfast, like an idjut) so I ate three. When I plugged them into MyFitnessPal -- plus the Pepsi, plus the half a dark chocolate bar with crystallized ginger -- I'd have shit my pants if I'd been wearing any. I'd basically eaten my calories for the day before 2:00.
Shit-fuck-damn.
Well, I figured I'd hobble to the store and get crackers or pita chips to go with the crab & artichoke dip we'll be taking to a friend's house for Thanksgiving. One look out the window at the way the trees were being tossed in the wind drove that idea right out of my mind. I panicked.
I want to swear to you, right now, that I don't normally have disordered thoughts and emotions regarding eating. Well, besides the self-indulgent/spoiled thing that comes with being a cat! But for just a couple minutes I wished I wasn't emetophobic. I've never had a thought like that in my life and it scared me. I'm very particular about losing this excess human suit as best I can the healthy way. Dafuq did that even come from?
I pulled myself together and improvised. I couldn't walk outside in the weathah. The aerobic step would have been too hard on my knees. So I just moved. I pushed my chair out of the way, set a timer for ten minutes, and marched in place while watching Yu-gi-oh. When the timer went off I sat down for a while. Repeat a couple of times. Each ten minutes brought me 77 more calories nearer remedying the damage done and giving me enough calories back to have a light but nutrient-rich dinner. When my legs quit I used my 2-lb hand weights and swung my arms.
And I did it. I bloody well did it.
But between the housework and that, I was knackered. On a day when I should have been resting up! So I went to bed at 8:00 pm. That was really-really odd, but I was that kind of tired.
And of course I woke up at 1:00 am and will be up most of the night...
I was nettled by Innoq nagging me a bit about the dishes and other aspects of housekeeping I'd been neglecting during my rest period. He could have damn well done them! But I felt guilty too, because I know he's not well either and is adjusting to a new dose of medications. So I alternated watching Yu-gi-oh and cleaning. I put away my clean clothes, tidied, and did as many of the dishes as I could. (Still not all of them, but a vast improvement.)
Then I ate too much. Again. I'd really blown it, intake wise, for a couple days in a row. I didn't make a big deal of it, but decided to get back on track today. Well, today Innoq made Belgian waffles. I was starving (because I didn't eat anything but a handful of grapes for breakfast, like an idjut) so I ate three. When I plugged them into MyFitnessPal -- plus the Pepsi, plus the half a dark chocolate bar with crystallized ginger -- I'd have shit my pants if I'd been wearing any. I'd basically eaten my calories for the day before 2:00.
Shit-fuck-damn.
Well, I figured I'd hobble to the store and get crackers or pita chips to go with the crab & artichoke dip we'll be taking to a friend's house for Thanksgiving. One look out the window at the way the trees were being tossed in the wind drove that idea right out of my mind. I panicked.
I want to swear to you, right now, that I don't normally have disordered thoughts and emotions regarding eating. Well, besides the self-indulgent/spoiled thing that comes with being a cat! But for just a couple minutes I wished I wasn't emetophobic. I've never had a thought like that in my life and it scared me. I'm very particular about losing this excess human suit as best I can the healthy way. Dafuq did that even come from?
I pulled myself together and improvised. I couldn't walk outside in the weathah. The aerobic step would have been too hard on my knees. So I just moved. I pushed my chair out of the way, set a timer for ten minutes, and marched in place while watching Yu-gi-oh. When the timer went off I sat down for a while. Repeat a couple of times. Each ten minutes brought me 77 more calories nearer remedying the damage done and giving me enough calories back to have a light but nutrient-rich dinner. When my legs quit I used my 2-lb hand weights and swung my arms.
And I did it. I bloody well did it.
But between the housework and that, I was knackered. On a day when I should have been resting up! So I went to bed at 8:00 pm. That was really-really odd, but I was that kind of tired.
And of course I woke up at 1:00 am and will be up most of the night...
