thedisappearingcat: (malaise)
I started the cleansing process with a bang. Before stagnant, clogged energy can be moved -- in a space or in a person -- it has to be broken loose. The neighbors don't really like the way I go about this -- loud music, ringing bells, clapping and stomping, jumping around, frenetic housework, opening all the windows and doors. Usually I'd use my coyote-skull rattle but every time I shake her stuff comes out her nose and makes a mess. (I can get her repaired for free, but I haven't been able to afford to properly pack and mail her all the way across the country.)

There are a lot of black taper candles in my supply drawer. I raid the shops right after every Halloween, when most storekeepers around here want to get rid of them because most people won't buy them during the rest of the year. I took one and used my candle knife (a pretty little knife I set aside specifically to use in candle magic) and divided it into three segments. One segment gets burned each of three days. I keep it on my desk so I can easily watch it and trim the wick when I need to. It's too tall for my altar. I burned a black spot in the shelf above my altar before I wised up and switched to tea lights.

I had a knot of stagnant energy in the middle of my back, blocking the proper energetic flow and making me even more tired. I could have asked Innoq to loosen it for me but he gets a bit carried away. Like a lot of Earth-oriented types I know, the big lug doesn't know his own strength. So I had my lennán do it from a distance. He's not as good with precision energy work, but it was easier to "catch and direct" his burst than it would have been to blunt Innoq's. 

Between the first segment of the candle and the righteous smack from my lennán lot of gunk got knocked loose inside of me. Some of that gunk was emotional. My feels a'sploded. I started crying and sulking in frustration, anxiety, and (*gasp*) insecurity. I paced and rocked myself, muttered and hissed. I didn't try to analyze any of it. I didn't try to stop it. I just let it flow through me. When I'd more-or-less exhausted myself (which obviously doesn't take much doing) I jumped in the shower and cleansed, letting the water itself flow over me and the energy of the water flow through me, sending both body dirt and psychic gunk down the drain. I also used a really good natural soap that has cleansing and invigorating properties.

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Caitria

December 2013

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